This post is to be read in a sad voice, with the image of a distraught me in your head. Think orphaned baby unicorn that’s the last of its kind only it has no limbs and it’s horn’s hanging off and it has horrific oozing sores all over its body. THAT kind of sad.
Right, here’s the thing. I need people to follow me on Twitter. NEED. I only have 19 followers on Twitter. I know 16 of these people. And not in a super rad way like, oh I met this person in a thrift shop in NY and we meet for Oreo milkshakes every 29th February. I either know them from school or I have worked with them. If my calculations are correct (which they probably aren’t) only 15% of my followers are users that I don’t actually know. Which would be fair enough if that percentage didn’t add up to a total of 3 people/bots. How fucking sad. Ben has around 75 times more followers than me. IT’S NOT FAIR. I’m not trying to be needy or anything but over 26,000 people have subscribed to the Youtube page, people read the posts on the site and listen to the podcasts. Why doesn’t anyone want to follow me (or the rest of the team, I guess). I am full of quality nuggets of mediocre humour. Who DOESN’T want that in their life. REALLY? Plus I like to type things in caps lock a lot, that’s always exciting. Also because I live such a super dull life I’m more than likely to reply to things. Really…
COMMIT
And I GUESS these guys too…
www.twitter.com/cocanuta
www.twitter.com/davidengles
Now that I’m done with my grovelling I will go on to general events. Of course as I wrote that sentence I didn’t consider just how little interesting things happen in my life. So anyone I may have lured in to follow me (do it!) is now more than likely going to realise “Oh yeah, this broad’s SUPER dull”. MINT.
I was reminded this week of how bad I am at time management. A couple of weeks ago I decided, on a whim, that this is going to be the year I learn to drive. I booked myself in for a theory test at the end of January using the logic that if I have a deadline I’ll actually get round to learning stuff. Also this month I have my dissertation deadline. It’s not technically a dissertation as it’s “not enough words” to count, but it sounds more stressful that “Research Project”. Anyway, the name of it isn’t important, the point is that I have to do around 9000 words or so by the 23rd January. So yes, driving test, research submission. So, me being the genius that I am thought “Oh I have a week off work in January, I’ll spend this time applying myself and completing my important work and studying for my driving test”. That was a lie. I instead thought, I’ll use this time to visit a friend at uni and do fuck all for 3 days. I am a sensible adult.
More interesting stuff. This morning I put together a couple of rough ideas for merchandise. Yaaaaaay. I genuinely am excited about this. David and myself has been very disappointed by the fact that neither of us have been recognised on the street by avid HAC fans. My logic is that there’s only been one video showing us as actual people so far and I’m such a stone cold fox in real life (hurrr) people are too intimidated to come and talk to me. However if people have the option to wear their support on their chests then I’m sure EVERYONE will be doing it. Or that’s the plan. The day that I see someone walking around wearing a HAC product (and this person isn’t Ben or David) I swear I will march right up to that person and warmly thank them for their patronage. Of course in real life I’m a kind of nervous and awkward so it probably wouldn’t be quite so epic as that but I will make some sort of effort to talk to them.
Other potential thankful gesture theories have included;
- Buying this person some sort of giant cookie.
- Making a giant cookie (I realised how expense those big cookies are and how unlikely it is that I would be able to buy one and not eat it.)
- Taking a photo of this person and featuring them in a special comic. I was thinking something like them high-fiving a bear. Maybe they could also be riding some sort of awesome creature. Like a Narwhal
- Creating a one off t-shirt as a special thank you.
I know it seems all very needy but we’re all still amazed by the scale of just how many people have supported us. I realize in the grand scheme of things 26,000 subscribers is NOT that big a deal, but for us that’s almost the entire population of the town we all live in (aside from David for about 75% of the year).
So keep being dedicated bitches.